This morning I noticed someone’s dashed hopes, lying on the ground surrounded by last autum’s dead leaves in the form of a losing lottery ticket. All windows had been scratched off, and the ticket thrown down, perhaps in frustration. Someone had spent hard earned money on a pipe dream.
The reason I got into the self-help field is beacuse it saddens me when people see their hopes dashed. We have been told by modern day miracle-chasers that if we think it hard enough, visualize it clear enough, repeat it loud enough–whatever we desire will suddenly materialize before our eyes. My training in cognition and behaviorism jives seamlessly with what my Italian ancestors knew instinctively: Hope is essential, but you also have to mobilize your mind, and your actions toward making your happiness a reality. The promise of sudden solutions give us an excuse to do next- to- nothing, and then we feel even worse when next-to-nothing happens. We blame ourselves. Perhaps our vision board was not specific enough; our affirmations may have contained double negatives; our thoughts perhaps let in a smidge of doubt. All of that is nonsense. The truth is, you were not given the other half of the equation: HOPE + PLAN OF ACTION —> Realizing Realistic Goals.
I’d like you to give yourself permission to stop blaming yourself for unrealized goals, and start taking ACTION to move toward them today. Think about what you really want for your life in areas of Money, Relationships, Love, Homelife, Health, Happiness, Career, etc. Draw up some realistic goals for each of the important areas of your life and then some small concrete steps that will move you toward them and help you realize them.
Now, instead of disappointment, you will begin to feel pride and accomplishement for having gotten your act into gear. Sculpt your life your own masterpiece. You only have one!
Dr. Raeleen D’Agostino Mautner is a self-help/personal development expert, speaker, certified Life Coach, Psychology Instructor, and Producer and Host of “The Art of Living Well”, Connecticuts “hottest self-help radio show” on 88.7FM or streaming www.wnhu.net, Mondays 7-8AM. Mautner is the author of two books, including “Living la Dolce Vita: Bring the Passion, Laughter, and Serenity of Italy into Your Daily Life”, has been quoted in many publications, including Family Circle and First for Women. She has written for Psychology Today, The Chicago Tribune, Quirks Market Reearch, The Italian Tribune, America Oggi, and Italian America. Dr. Mautner has made guest appearances on numerous national radio and TV programs. Her self-help blog has become a treasure trove of inspiration, motivation, and new ideas for living well.
Mautner’s upcoming book, due out in the Spring of 2013 and published by HCI is called “Lemons into Limoncello”. This beautiful work will help ease recovery and renewal for readers who are going through loss, change, or transition–with the zest of simple Italian pleasures.
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